It’s scary to find someone that makes you happy, you start giving them all of your attention because they’re what makes you forget everything bad that’s going on in your life. They’re the first person you want to talk to in the morning and the last on before you sleep just so you can start and end your day with a smile. It all sounds great to have that someone, but it’s scary to think about how easily they could just leave and take that happiness away too when they go.
back “home” for winter break and this fuckin’ blows. havin’ flashbacks to when I was in highschool. constantly disagreeing with my parents, never seeing eye to eye with them. I’m just never recognized for any of my accomplishments. my grades for the first semester of college came out today and I did a lot better than I was expecting. never once did my mom tell me that she was proud of me or anything of the sort. she wonders why I’m so independent, it’s because I was raised that way. she pushed me away. if I wanted something I had to go after it myself. I envy the relationships my friends have with their parents. I don’t knoww..
I can’t sleep. what’s new? it’s that sick-to-my-stomach feeling that just won’t go away. my eyes are tired and swollen. these racing thoughts won’t cease. I don’t understand. I wish you were here to hold me and comfort me.. but in reality your the reason for this pain and these tears. I just wish things didn’t have to end this way.